


written in salt

by inlovewithnight



Category: Thoroughbreds (Movie)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Fisting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 07:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13922259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inlovewithnight/pseuds/inlovewithnight
Summary: At first it was just another test, when she asked it. She just wanted to know what Amanda would answer. “Have you ever fucked a girl before?”





	written in salt

Lily files a lot of things away after the fact, slotting them into places in her memory where she won’t need to look at them anymore. No reminders. Everything neat and clean and locked away in a cabinet.

Most of them she files away with no regrets, but there’s one memory that she’s a little sad to push away from herself. She wouldn’t really mind remembering this. It was something really… really pleasant. Really nice. It’s a shame to give it up. But she has to keep things clean and tidy.

It’s better that way.

**

It was an afternoon that started on the couch, watching old movies flicker by while they worked their way through cocktails of rum and orange-mango juice. They were as bad for their waistlines as rum and cola would have been for their teeth, but they had gone swimming earlier, and it was okay to indulge a bit. They were still young.

_They won’t try us as adults yet_ was how Amanda put it. Because Amanda, and her fucked-up brain or soul or whatever it was, wherever her missing pieces left gaps behind. Amanda and her bluntness and inability to flinch.

Lily was still testing that, honestly. She kept waiting for a reaction to some of the things she said. She had dug her nails into Amanda’s leg, just above the ankle, and Amanda just said “Ow” and pulled her leg away. Didn’t ask her why she did it. Didn’t get upset. Just pulled away, and looked at her with that blank, waiting stare.

Lily’s tries at inflicting emotional pain got even less of a reaction, because Amanda didn’t even pull away. She just looked at her, and waited, and eventually Lily always made the next move. She had to, because she _had_ all of her brain or soul or whatever, no gaps, she couldn’t just let them both sit frozen until one of them had to pee. It was too weird.

At first it was just another test, when she asked it. She just wanted to know what Amanda would answer. “Have you ever fucked a girl before?”

Amanda turned her head and gazed at her, impassive and waiting. “Yes.”

Lily’s stomach sank, and shivered, and jerked upward again toward her throat. “Really?”

“Yes.” Amanda took another sip of her drink. “Have you?”

“No!” It came out sharp, like a jolt, and she hurried to yank her composure back together. She had worked hard over the years to build that composure, to make a perfect self that she could hide behind. She wasn’t going to lose it now just because Amanda was… was…

“Have you ever fucked a guy?” she asked, just to check, to _clarify_.

Amanda, endlessly calm and cool, like a stone lying on the stupid expensive couch. “Yes. I had to try both, to see if I felt anything about either one. Guys first, because of heteronormativity. When I didn’t feel anything about them, I thought maybe I was gay, so I tried girls. But nope. Nothing.”

“So you’re, like… what? Dead inside?”

Amanda shrugged, her eyes tracking back to the TV. “I thought we already established that. Kind of a rude way to put it, but. Whatever.”

Lily bit down on her lip and turned back to the screen as well. They sat in silence for what felt like a long time, but didn’t even bring them to the end of the song and dance number in the movie.

“Are you asking me if I’ll fuck _you_?” Amanda said finally, as the music built up to its climactic frenzy.

“What?” Lily tried to laugh, but it stuck in her throat, she was choking on it. “What, no, of course not, I’m not…”

“It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.”

Right. Of course not. Lily reached for her drink and took a long swallow. The characters on the screen collapsed into their post-musical-number swoon.

“Like…” Lily could feel the light of the TV burning holes in her retinas. She needed to blink. “Like, what would you do? If I did want you to fuck me.”

Amanda tilted her head a little, considering. “Go down on you, I guess. If you like that. Or I could finger you.”

Fingering only conjured up memories of Cody Jeffers jabbing away at her insides in the back row of a movie theater when they were fourteen. It was awkward and uncomfortable and afterward he sniffed his finger and smirked at her. Gross. “Not fingering.”

“Okay.” Amanda took a band off her wrist and began to pull her hair back into a ponytail. “Oral it is. Can you turn to face me and, like, stretch your legs out? Instead of me kneeling on the floor.”

Lily’s stomach jumped and twisted again. “I wasn’t asking you! It was a hypothetical!”

Amanda looked at her flatly. “This is a stupid thing to lie about, you know. Nobody’s home, watching these movies is boring as fuck, and orgasms are generally considered a good thing.”

It was so strange, Lily thought in the distant and analytical part of her mind. She kept kind of slipping into thinking about Amanda like a pet, a very dangerous wild creature that she could keep on a leash only because she knew Amanda’s secrets. And then the pet would suddenly show up with new and different talents. She knew she could get bitten, she knew she could get _hurt_ in a whole lot of ways, but somehow… somehow…

She was still trusting that she could hold the leash.

“Let’s go upstairs,” she said, putting her glass down on the table to leave wet rings behind. The maid would clean it up tomorrow. “I have a perfectly good bed.”

**

“The first time I was just imitating what I saw in porn.” Amanda lay on her stomach on the bed, her shoulders between Lily’s knees, considering the view of Lily’s flipped-up skirt and pale blue panties. “But the more actual experience I got, the more I realized that was bullshit. So this should be way better for you.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Lily stared down at the top of Amanda’s head, the rough waves twisted and uneven in their messy restraint. Amanda’s fingers were pressing lightly against the fabric of her panties, here and there, like she was testing for something.

“Do you think Mark goes down on your mom? Or is he, like, too full of toxic masculinity to ever?”

“Gross! I don’t want to think about that!” She had thought about him doing it to her, once or twice, fucked-up fantasies that got her off but left her shaking and feeling dirty and weird. And even in those, the oral part was perfunctory and barely memorable. It was the bending her over the couch and doing her from behind that drove her to her fast and gross orgasm, both times, and she _hated it_.

“Okay.” Amanda ducked down and sniffed at her panties, then blew against the fabric. It made Lily squirm, and she wanted to complain, but before she did more than open her mouth Amanda was moving her fingers again. She must have found whatever she was looking for before, because _that_ , yes, that was good. 

Amanda was single-minded about it, continuing in the same pattern until Lily’s panties were soaked through. Then she hooked her fingers in the waistband and yanked them down, pausing when the elastic was stretched tight around Lily’s knees. “You like them left here, like a sorta bondage thing, or all the way off?”

“You’re not going to be able to get in and _do_ anything if you leave them there.”

“You’d be surprised.” But Amanda pulled them the rest of the way off and nudged Lily’s knees wider apart, then slipped her arms under Lily’s thighs and pressed her face to her cunt.

Lily’s experience with guys eating her out was a little more varied than her tries at fingering, but not much more satisfying or even pleasant. She could understand that boys her age didn’t have much practice, and she had never had the particular kind of rebellious streak that sent her looking for someone older. So she couldn’t exactly _blame_ her partners for being bad at it; she just wrote it off as an only mildly enjoyable thing and went on with her life.

Amanda had the experience the boys lacked. And she was relentless, which made sense: give a machine a goal and it will reach it, no matter what.

_She’s not a machine_ , Lily scolded herself, lifting her hips up off the bed so Amanda could get deeper. _And she’s not a pet. She’s a person—just a different sort of person—fuck, she’s—_

“You can be loud if you want,” Amanda said, her finger still moving against Lily’s clit as she pulled her mouth away. “I’m paying attention. Nobody else has come home.”

Amanda’s voice almost broke the spell—still flat, indifferent, like maybe she _was_ a machine after all—but her thumb joined her finger there and pressed just right, circling, grinding flesh and nerves down in a way that made Lily gasp and her hips jerk. Amanda brought her mouth to her again, licking and seeking out just the right place, and then Lily’s muscles were pulsing and her brain was lighting up with endorphins and _fuck_ , okay, oral could be good.

It took her a minute to gather herself, and to realize that Amanda wasn’t going to stop licking and touching without a cue. She pushed a little at Amanda’s head, letting her fingertips curl in the messy waves. “Stop, stop. Too much.”

Amanda sat back, her face slick and shiny, her eyes still looking indifferent or bored, but with a slight satisfaction in the curve of her mouth. Not pleasure, but the satisfaction of meeting her goal. Was that real, or one of her imitations? 

Probably better not to ask. “Do you want anything?”

Amanda wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. “You said you’ve never been with a girl before.”

“Well, no, but…” Fuck. Now she looked stupid. “I mean, I’ve got a vibrator.”

“Are we good enough friends to share vibrators?”

_Fuck_. “Okay, fine, never mind.”

“Wait.”

Lily couldn’t quite look at her, but she waited, staring down at her fingers twisting up the sheet.

“I like a lot of stimulation. A lot of, like, pressure. And stretch.”

It was _weird_ to hear someone saying that so calmly, like they were ordering a pizza. “Like… a big dick?”

“Those are okay.” Amanda shifted around, Lily could tell from how the mattress moved. “But like, a hand is good, too. Maybe better. A whole hand, inside. Um. Do you want to Google fisting? And see if you think you could try that?”

Lily stared harder at the bed. “I don’t have to Google it. I’ve watched porn, too.”

“Okay. I wasn’t sure.” Amanda paused for a moment. “Do you want to?”

Sweat was prickling at Lily’s hairline and the back of her neck. “I’ll have to go grab some Vaseline. Wait here.”

Asking questions was easier from the safe distance of the bathroom. No risk of eye contact there. “Do you think you need more pressure and stuff because of your no feelings thing?”

“No. It’s all nerve endings and muscles and whatever. My pussy works fine.”

Lily wanted to cringe at the word, but it was a little late for cringing. She got the Vaseline from the cabinet and then grabbed a towel. She kind of wished she had some gloves, but she didn’t dye her hair or have any other reason to keep them around. Maybe she would add them to the maid’s shopping list, if this went okay. If she wanted to do it again.

When she got back to the bed Amanda was waiting on her elbows and knees, her panties crumpled up under one knee, her skirt flipped up over her back. “It’s easiest this way,” she said, resting her forehead against a pillow and looking back between her legs at Lily. “I got myself a little juiced up to get you started.”

“Um. Thanks, I guess.” Lily blinked at the open, pink, wet… _cleft_ , right there, in front of her, ready and waiting. Of course Amanda had no shame. No anxiety, either. She was just settled in and waiting.

“You’re not nervous?” Lily asked, laying the towel out and opening the Vaseline. She slicked two fingers up to start, all the way to the base knuckle.

“People get nervous because they’re afraid something’s going to hurt.” Amanda’s face was flushed red against the pillow—not blushing, just bloodflow, Lily reminded herself. “I’m not afraid. If it hurts, I’ll tell you. That’s all.”

“Okay.” Lily took a deep breath and rested her clean hand on Amanda’s hip. “Here we go, then.”

It wasn’t fun, exactly—it was too clinical for that, and she wasn’t getting any stimulation out of it, obviously. But it was _interesting_ , seeing Amanda really react to something. Physical stimulus got a physical response: sweating, flushing, breathing hard. Her eyes darted back and forth, some spit dripped from her lower lip, sticky fluid ran down over Lily’s fingers to her wrist. It was real, not an imitation. Not something Amanda had practiced. 

And Lily was _making that happen_. She worked her fingers into Amanda and then her whole hand, feeling the slick muscle of Amanda’s vagina shudder and clench around her, feeling the heat of her, making her quiver and gasp. And oh god, when she came, the tightness was unbelievable. It made Lily’s free hand jerk in shock, her nails digging into the only part of Amanda’s skin that wasn’t tanned warm gold. She left marks, standing out red and sharp.

_You don’t feel_ , Lily thought, staring down at Amanda’s back, sweat standing out on the bumps of her vertebrae, her wet pink cunt stretched around Lily’s wrist. _But look what I made you do._

**

They both cleaned up in silence, after; Amanda used Lily’s shower, while Lily slipped into the master suite and used her mom and Mark’s. Usually she avoided it, hating the lingering smell of his shower gel and aftershave, hating the sight of his razor and toothbrush, but today she had the knowledge of her own power wrapped around her while she washed. It wouldn’t last long, probably, but now that she knew it existed, she wouldn’t forget.

Amanda was dressed when she got back to her own bedroom, sitting on the floor by the bed. “You want to order dinner?” she asked. “Maybe Indian, or Thai?”

“We can do that, sure.” Lily straightened her ponytail, looking down at Amanda. Not exactly sitting at her feet, but she could pretend, for a minute. 

She wanted to ask if they could do that again sometime, but checked herself. She didn’t have to ask ahead like that, not with Amanda. Every time she wanted to do it, she just had to ask _then_. Amanda wouldn’t think she was pushy or weird or gross. She would take it at face value. It would be easy.

Everything was turning out to be really easy. 

Lily could get used to this.


End file.
